This NY Magazine article suggests a simple yet brilliant technique that helps you avoid the stereotypical commenting on the weather and master the art of small talk. Many people find small talk tedious but for those who are socially anxious, it can be downright terrifying. Alternatively, if you hear a person use a summary statement, or thank you for something, it may be a cue to you that they are ready to move on. If this is the case, your goal should to present the real you. If you're not used to talking with your hands, try doing this in your everyday conversations. This synopsis is often called an elevator speech because if you are in an elevator with someone you may not know very well, it is a prime scenario for small talk. In many ways, small talk is a defense mechanism to cope with the universal anxiety people experience when conversing with those they do not know well. Using the person's name periodically as you talk to them can not only help you encode the name, but research has shown when a person hears his or her name, they feel more at ease. Whatever the correction is, it will allow you to follow up with further questions. Lesser Importance.". With practical advice and conversation cheat sheets, The Fine Art of Small Talk will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social situation, from lunch with the boss, to an industry event, to a business networking opportunity or even a cocktail party where you don't know a soul. Guaranteed, if you can remember details and bring them back up in the conversation, the other person will be impressed and feel acknowledged by you. Taught By. Remember that people like to talk about themselves, so the more questions you ask, the more people will talk. Your hand gestures should be descriptive, but they shouldn't be distracting. Some people feel so awkward during small talk because it feels forced or superficial. You’ll learn how to start conversations, keep them going, and exit them with grace. The more you're able to go up to anyone and strike up a conversation with them, the more natural you'll appear. An elevator speech is a 30 second blurb in which you tell someone else what it is you do. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. If someone joins your conversation, this is a good time to excuse yourself, or if you know the other person, you can make an introduction. You will further identify specific steps you can take to develop, and eventually master, the art of making a positive first impression. So practicing these small talk strategies can help to greatly enhance your ability to leave a great first impression, and also build your own confidence in approaching strangers who may be able to advance your career or become an important personal relationship. What are your goals for meeting this person and establishing some rapport? Can you relate to this passion? You are stuck in an elevator with one other person, staring intensely at the elevator doors hoping they open soon to bring an end to this tension. Prepare Topic Points Don't chatter about the weather or traffic. Are you hearing this person talk about a passion of theirs? Since you only have a few minutes to make an impression, it's crucial to have a conversation that's enjoyable for both. Make sure your face is pleasant by smiling and maintaining eye contact. 1. Then it's time you mastered The Fine Art of Small Talk.With practical advice and conversation -cheat sheets,+ The Fine Art of Small Talk will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social situation, from lunch with the boss to an association event to a cocktail party where you don't know a soul. While they're talking, give them your full attention. … Certain individuals find it naturally hard because of their introversion or shyness, while others might be struggling with issues such as depression or low self-esteem. Lecturer/Marketing Coordinator. The best (and worst) part of small talk is that you never know where it may go, but mastering small talk may help you direct it a little. Instead, have at least three things to talk about depending on the event you're going to, according to Debra Fine in her book The Fine Art of Small Talk. 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